My Testimony

I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember. But recently I have had more fire for God.

History

When I was little, I was sprinkled with water which many think can cover a baby if they were to pass suddenly without being able to choose to follow Jesus. Growing up I loved singing and church and would go as much as I could. Growing up even later I just started to fall away and feel like I was being forced to go to church as I grew up in a Christian home. I felt like whenever I didn’t do something right that I was being judged and equated the people of Christianity with God. But this isn’t Jesus and a relationship with Him, these are the sinful humans and people of the church. Which at the base we are still sinners. But Jesus wipes away all of our sins. So, for that reason and many years I didn’t go to church.

I eventually went on a church trip around one of the Great Lakes. The only thing I can remember from this time period was that I was trying to get guys to like me in middle school and never felt like I fit in. On this trip, I was so led by the Lord, I rose my hands and worshipped him, and when they asked if anyone wanted to be baptised, I rose my hand. I was born again in a lake, which is one of the coolest things I started to share with others. Baptism is the washing away of your old self and sin and becoming new (like Jesus) in your actions by His works alone.

Then I was hit with many different struggles of mine came up. I started in 8th grade developing arthritis in my right wrist and after I had surgery sophomore year of college, I developed POTS. So much so, I had to take a year off from college, pushing my dreams of being a Biologist (researcher) at the time up. Little did I know the next year I would go on to change what I wanted to be to a Dietician.

Taking time off from college caused me to become depressed, sad, and lonely. This happened because I was away form what little friends I had at college, because I felt like my dreams were farther away, and my physical health I felt was deteriorating. My arthritis arthritis, POTS, and the recovery from surgery was honestly slowly killing me and my mental health.

During this time I was looking more into myself and how I could be better, feel better, and just live better overall. I believe the Holy Spirit that was still in me when I accepted Jesus when I was little, to when I was baptized, and chose to give my life to Him, was pulling at me. It tugged on my heart strings because of how horrible I felt, I felt I needed the Lord. Because we all NEED the LORD!

Even though I had accepted Jesus before, been baptized before, I had felt like this time was different. I believe God had finally answered my prayers. I had been dealing with pain in my wrist for years, not knowing what it was. I was told it was carpel tunnel and that it would get better and it did not, it only got worse. After finding a diagnosis and a doctor to do surgery, I had felt relief. It was not until way after all the pain and loneliness of that year did I realize it was His way of answering my prayers of getting rid of the pain. God was looking out for me. I believe there is something to say with having other disabilities as I now am dealing with a new chronic disease. I feel I am closest to God when I am in pain, I search for Him, but not to just get an answer and leave. But now after this recent finding, I want to walk with Him to help me heal and show people why I believe in God and to shout it to the rooftop. With my limited mobility sometimes that’s why I love writing these posts to show everyone online.

The same thing also happened between that diagnosis and this diagnosis. It seems like after every break up or health condition I come back, but I never want to be away from Him again. I do not want to be lukewarm, I want to life the Christian life, and be called to do what the Lord wants me to do. Not to just get to heaven (even though I really want to, to be with Jesus) but because I love Him and I want to please Him. Because He has helped me get through so many things and I believe there is a reason why I want to be a dietician and why I am having problems with GERD now. To show people you can have pain but still love the Lord because I believe that there is a reason that I have my chronic diseases. And to help others with their chronic diseases as well. Without them I would have never wanted to be a Dietician and helping people is a work from the Lord. I also love food and feel like I am really good at knowing all the information and explaining it because He gave me that gift.

Now, I am focusing on my relationship with Jesus, reading the Bible, starting a new Bible study with lovely ladies online, listening to church and Christian videos a lot, and working my way back into the church. Weather it’s ladies late night, Bible study, going to church, listening to worship music, or going back to church. It can be hard with the chronic diseases I have but I am in need of more good Christian friends. Jesus said we should fellowship and be in the church because it makes it a little more easier with people surrounded you, helping guide you, along with the Holy Spirit.

I have come back to God many times, but this will be the last, no more lukewarm. I have been reading my Bible everyday since then and God gives me peace and helps me through hard times. We cannot do anything without Him, it is all Him, the King of Kings! Thank you guys so much for reading my testimony.